March 01


The Yummy Mummy


… I found the one my heart loves, I held him and wouldn’t let him go …

Song of Solomon 3:4 (NIV)


Why is it my boys always go to their mom when they want something, when they’ve been hurt, or when they are afraid or just feeling low? Why is Kris’ shoulder the one that gets the heads, and why is she always first for hugs?

I pondered this yesterday as I sat on our living room sofa basking in the early morning glow. I gazed at my wife. There she was sitting in the big, white, Italian-leather chair—minding her business, enjoying a beautiful morning—and there they were. A dog in her lap and a boy curled up next to her. It was a little cramped, so Kris had to hold her Sudoku book over her head to fill in the numbers. What a sight! And what a testimony.

Moms are affectionate. Generally speaking, they give and receive affection freely. It’s their air. They live and thrive on it.

Guys, it’s a reminder to us to show them the same kind of non-sexual affection. Our wives need it to survive. A hug, a squeeze, a brush of the cheek ... a smile and a kiss ... sometimes say what words can’t. Our warm affection becomes an open revelation of what’s in our hearts. And that’s what our women need more than anything else—to connect with our hearts. Marriage experts at Family Life ministries site a study showing our wives need an average of eleven non-sexual touches of affection each day to enjoy the strong feeling they are loved.

Guys, we’ve blown it! We’ve missed so many opportunities. What do you say? Let’s pry ourselves from our computers, sports and news. Let’s sit on the couch with our wife for ten minutes and hold her hand. Let’s surprise her in the kitchen with a gentle hug and let’s kiss her tenderly for no apparent reason.

You’ll be pleased and blessed by her response. Don’t make a big deal of it. Just do it … and watch … and listen for her response. Trust me ... this is going to be good!


Father, help us to show love to our spouses. May You help us to warm their hearts and brighten their smiles. Amen.

February 28


David’s Wilderness


In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through—all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves. Or have you forgotten how good parents treat children?

"My dear child, don’t shrug off God’s discipline,
But don’t be crushed by it either.
It’s the child he loves that he disciplines,
The child he embraces, he also corrects."

Hebrews 12:4-6 (the Message)


The world is consumed with its version of love. God shows us true love. His love is too deep, too powerful, too profound to be reduced to emotion or sentimentality. Consider God’s word to us.

In the Old Testament, one Hebrew word stands out. Repeated over and over, it appears 240 times and is especially present in the Book of Psalms. Hesed, pronounced chesed or kesed, is translated loving-kindness, steadfast love, grace, mercy, faithfulness, goodness, devotion. All are appropriate, yet hesed has “three basic meanings which all interact: strength, steadfastness and love. Any understanding of the word that fails to suggest all three inevitably loses some of its richness” (Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary).

Hesed goes beyond fleeting feelings: it guides us, corrects us, changes us. Remember, God is our Father. Any responsible parent wants the best for their children and will do all they can to guide their child into good things, the best things. Occasionally, this means discipline.

Whom the Lord loves, He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. In case that’s not clear, the author of Hebrews spells it out: when we go AWOL, when we cross over His deep line in the sand, He skins us alive.

As committed children, we should not ignore His well-marked boundaries and the consequences for crossing the line. David experienced those consequences and as a result moved into deeper awe and appreciation for the great love of God (Psalm 63). Consider how powerful that loving-kindness, hesed, was.

Step by step, David strayed from the direction God had given him. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time—neglecting his duty and feeding his fantasies (2 Samuel 11:1). As a result, David subdued another man’s wife and when he couldn’t hide his sin … he killed the man (2 Samuel 11:15). Today, we would be incensed by this horrible abuse of power. We would hang him, give him the chair or needle, or put him away for life. Wouldn’t we?

It’s easy to throw stones 3,000 years after the fact. But consider God’s hesed—His steadfast love for David. Confronted with the truth, David repents and is genuinely sorry for his sin. And so, he keeps his throne, but because of hesed, he ends up receiving more pain than he gave.

Nathan charged David to his face, “Why have you despised the commandment of the LORD to do evil in His sight?” Nathan then spoke the blistering details of God’s punishment (2 Samuel 12). Look at David’s life and appreciate how hard God spanks His beloved children. David paid dearly where it hurt the most—in his family.

David agonized over Bathsheba’s sick baby. God took it. David went through the roof when his beautiful daughter Tamar was raped by David’s oldest son, Amnon. Then later, Tamar’s brother Absalom murdered Amnon in an act of revenge. When David gave Absalom the cold shoulder, the young man revolted and took half the kingdom with him. Absalom drove the Royal Family from the palace, slept publicly with David’s concubines and brought incredible shame to his father. Later, David’s man, Joab, caught up with Absalom and hurled three spears through his heart. David’s agony was thorough. Fourfold discipline, strong discipline: a daughter raped, the loss of three sons and the kingdom nearly destroyed. A high price indeed.

This scourging was breathtaking. It drove the king to his knees, and David understood so much more of the power and the glory of God. Incredibly, it brought him to the point where he desired nothing more than hesed, God’s loving-kindness.

In the end, David’s great life became a not-so-great life, a tainted life. Still, David’s life is a life of great worth, because there are lessons here. And there is this profound but simple truth: you can’t sin and win. God loves His children too much to ever allow that to happen. And God’s children receive all of God’s hesed.—the love, the steadfastness, and the strength. All of it. Always!


Lord God, let our love for You be true as we obey, as we fulfill the Great Commandment, as we love You and others faithfully. Help us, I pray. Amen.

February 27


Being Like Christ


Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-3 (NKJV)


There is truth in this passage that can absolutely, positively rock your world—and mine. It involves true discipleship.

Whoa! Hold on. I'm not going to say what you think I'm going to say. Most Christians run when they hear someone say, “Let’s talk about discipleship!” The reason, I think, is because we relate discipleship to doing, i.e., we’ve got to do more to be good disciples. We’ve got to read our Bibles more, pray more, and witness, and go to church more often. Check, check, double check. Double wrong. Sounds right, but the assumption is wrong.

Discipleship is NOT about doing. It is about being. It is about being like Christ. For us, the essence of Christianity, of the Christian (literally, like Christ) is to develop the character of Christ in us.

To do this, we don’t do more, we do less. We ruthlessly throw off any weight, any obstacle, any distraction, any sin that keeps us from focusing on Christ. Because, as we look to Jesus, as we emulate Jesus, as we keep Jesus in focus, we change.

It's a big change. We become like Him. We become His disciples. Disciples that rock their worlds.


Father, help me, my family, my dearest friends to focus on Christ, to be faithful to the cause. Amen.

February 26


Tremble


Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 10:28 (NKJV)


When it comes to songs, one of my recent favorites is Audio Adrenaline’s tune Tremble. I mean, it really puts it into perspective. We should tremble before Almighty God. We should be more concerned about what God thinks and does than about what other people may think or do. Really.

I thought of this just today as I was riding in the car with my son Ryan—as a passenger! Ryan is a great kid, and we love him to death, but ... gosh … he didn’t pass driver’s ed this summer. Now, we have 15 hours of father-son remedial driving. I have to admit, that’s more a reflection of me for not properly preparing him than it is of him. Still, riding with Ryan as he learns how to turn and stop and park and exercise sound judgment can be a scary thing.

I thought about this after coming home from a forty-minute tour of the crowded streets of Bend, Oregon. I haven’t felt like this in quite awhile, and I have been in some pretty nerve-wracking environments. Like the hours I spent each day driving incognito through the hustling streets of Riyadh, or flying a tanker loaded up with fuel in between lightning strikes (where there weren’t supposed to be thunderstorms—surprise!), to instructing first-time students in the big jets—now that was an adventure!

Come to think of it driving with Ryan was kind of like training brand new copilots in the Boeing KC-135: okay ease over to the left a little … watch your speed … don’t bury your head inside, look outside … watch it! And … brakes!

What a day. Yes, sir. We’re making memories. And we’ll continue to make memories together. Ryan’s mom prefers not to drive with him … just yet!

Scaredy cat…..


Lord, thank You for the fun of having an adventure with my son. Keep me at ease and help Ryan develop sound judgment and exceptional driving skills … soon, Lord … please … very soon! Amen.

February 25


The Wilderness


And He withdrew Himself into the wilderness….

Luke 5:16 (NKJV)

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, your consolations delight my soul.

Psalm 94:19 (NAS)


There are two kinds of wildernesses as I see it. There is the wilderness of soul where we seem absolutely lost and helpless, desperate for relief, and then, there is the wilderness of His love. This is where we lose all else for Him. And this is where we find our relief: when our focus falls solely on God (Hebrews 12:2a).

In order to accomplish the Father’s will, Christ focused on the Father. He spent abundant time pouring out His heart and seeking guidance. That, and He just wanted the relationship—to be with the Father. This is what empowered Him and released Him to do the great work of salvation. This is why our focus and devotion are so important. The world has its designs, human nature has its desires, but God alone gives us our right direction.

This past week, I was in both wildernesses. In Portland, I had many emotional experiences, but one of the toughest was seeing my aging parents struggle with their health. I could do nothing … but pray and be of some small service. And spend time with my Big God. It was time with my Father that brought peace and relief. He gives us the light and sets things right for all of us.

And this is true love: our time together … with Him.


Lord, thank You for the wilderness and all it means to me. Your gifts open my eyes and You free me to serve others in the love of Christ.

February 24


Relationship and Accountability


I will make darkness light before them and crooked places straight.

Isaiah 42:16 (NKJV)


From my den, I heard unhappy voices upstairs. I moved past my white French doors to the bottom of the stairs and listened to the exchange between my son and my wife.

“Argh! I just want to finish!”

“Alex, you’ve been on the computer thirty minutes longer than allowed. Get off now!”

I stood still and listened for what came next: the tapping of keys, the rough scuff of the chair against the hallway carpet then, ten seconds later, the sound of my sons shoe slamming his bedroom wall.

That’s it! I thought as I bounded the stairs. I caught the anger as it rose from within. I said a quick prayer, determined to be calm, factual, and in control. I slipped in past his half-open door.

“Alex, I heard your shoe hit the wall.”

He sat on his bed, staring at the floor. “Sorry. It slipped.”

“Hmm. Well, I think you’re reacting to the rules. Rules that are for your own good. It’s not Mom’s fault. She’s only enforcing the rules I established. ... I think we’re going to delay your computer time tomorrow and let you think about these things. You need to appreciate the rules and learn to control your emotions.”

I left Alex in his bedroom and met my wife sitting in the den. The exchange with Alex had upset her and we needed to discuss our next steps. Twenty minutes later, 9-year old Alex walked in carrying a sheet of paper.

“Excuse me.... I’m too obsessive with the computer and I need to change." He looked at me with his big blue eyes. "I wrote down some new rules.” He handed me the 8 by 11 sheet, full of large penciled letters.

Here’s the original version:

New Rules

- No computer until September
- TV rules: max time 30 minutes on 30 minutes off – repeat 3 times max per day
- Ride scooter 15 minutes per day
- Go to bed at 8:00 p.m. until September comes
- Ride bike 1 hour per day until school starts
- Read a book after lunch 1 hour until September
- No snack time past 7:45 p.m.

"Thank you, Alex. You're sure you want to do this?" He nodded his head and walked out leaving his stunned parents sitting frozen, our jaws wide-open.

My son taught me a lesson that afternoon. I had held him accountable and it paid off more than I could have ever imagined. I remembered something else—the importance of relationship. You see, he and I had gone to the park that day. Alex and his dad played for an hour—chasing each other, jumping off swings in mid-flight. Kid stuff. Fun stuff. And in the end we had more than just fun—we reaped the reward of right relationship! And we love each other all the more….


Father, help me to have good relationships, the best relationships, and help me to be accountable too. Amen.