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May 12
Table Acceptance
… let us pursue the things which make for peace … let each of us please his neighbor for his good….
Romans 14:19, 15:2 (NKJV)
May God who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other … So accept each other as Christ accepted you….
Romans 15:5, 7 (NLT)
One of the most accepting things I experience is when my friends are transparent with me. Sometimes it’s in their words, but many times it’s in their faces. A genuine smile, a softening of the eyes, a small nodding of the head—these can speak volumes. But the thing is, to develop this level of trust can take a little time, some patience and, in some cases, a lot of listening. This is the value of the table—a symbol for any physical object that draws us together. It could be a city park, or a corner booth at a diner. It could be a beach or a bench at school, a fence or even a tree. Whatever this table is, it is a place where we come together, we listen, we get real. Perhaps we laugh too, and in time we come to accept. This is part of loving our neighbor—just like Jesus did. It is key to building community and in establishing society, just as Jesus established a society for the good and benefit of others….
I remember an extreme table experience from my own life.
It happened in May of 2002, I was just finishing up a 1-year remote tour to Saudi Arabia where my daily duties included negotiating air traffic clearances face to face with officials of the Royal Saudi Air Force in downtown Riyadh. It was not a cushy job, and I was anxious to get home. This was 8 months after 9/11 and we were thick into Operation Enduring Freedom, taking action against Tora Bora and other Al Qaida Afghanistan hideouts. Everyone was stretched.
Working with the Saudis was especially challenging, and I'll never forget what happened one day with my American counterparts. It occured just before a Joint Task Force staff meeting in the Operations directorate. A lieutenant colonel friend of mine began railing about his 16-hour a day job in the Combined Air Operations Center. He worked in an extremely fast-paced environment under the watchful eyes of a slew of colonels and several general officers. It was non-stop. Brutal, in fact. He was in the hot seat everyday, and everyone felt badly for him. So there he was talking about his pressure-cooker duty. He was really getting into it and said something like, “I’ve had it. This job is the pits. I’ll gladly trade jobs with anyone!” Then he looked around the table and saw me. His eyes grew big as he sat back and pointed at yours truly. “Except you! They couldn’t pay me to take your job!” A few people nodded their heads. For some reason, people didn’t like working with my friends the Saudis. It wasn't that bad, was it?
After a year in the scorching desert, and the daily every-man-for-himself drive into downtown Riyadh, I was beginning to wonder. I was more than anxious to go home, but then a special request came down. Could I stay for the Air Clearance Conference in Jiddah? It was important. To execute the war in Afghanistan took an array of clearances and special permissions from nations all around the Arab Gulf. This was an important conference because the Saudis were a kingpin in the region and now they wanted some things from us. So, we were not just negotiating our own clearances, which also helped support wartime ops in Afghanistan, we were also going to work out the details for granting Saudia Airlines and the Royal Family clearance to fly into the U.S. as well … a sensitive issue back then given the citizenship of so many of the 9/11 hijackers.
So there we were, almost 50 of us sitting at huge tables formed into a square. The Americans on one side, the Saudis taking the other three sides. Our greatly outnumbered U.S. team had State Department people, embassy personnel, U.S. military and FAA representatives. They had Saudi Ministry of Defense authorities, Air Force officers, Air Clearance authorities, Saudia Airline executives, their own embassy people from Washington D.C. and their prince. Negotiating with this gaggle was not easy. Some hardly spoke English, and once or twice the Prince had to interrupt his interpretter to ensure an accurate English translation. Essentially, they wanted a blanket clearance to fly in to a number of our largest metropolitan areas. We suggested they might be able to land in Maine or Montana or somewhere a little more remote. Fringe, America perhaps. We made our requests and got similar responses. Soon we had broken up and gone into back rooms to rethink our positions, and make a few phone calls before trying again. I don’t know how many times this happened, but finally the Prince said, “Enough! Please, it is time for lunch. You will be our guests….”
So we loaded up into our American-made rental cars while they got into their BMWs and Mercedes and we caravanned across Jiddah. It was a typical day in the Kingdom—a ton of sun, too much heat, and not a cloud in their incredible blue sky. We passed beautiful buildings, green parks, and contemporary sculptures on our way to the shore. The prince took us to a dramatic restaurant surrounded by lush foliage. Its entranceway started on green grass then the entire structure jutted out into the Red Sea with plenty of glass for viewing the clear, calm water. Most impressive.
We were directed again to a long array of tables arranged like a box, but this time we were intermingled, Saudis seated next to Americans, and all in a most relaxing room over the sea. Soon, waiter after waiter came serving us the most delicious food. They came in waves with appetizers and entrees, breads and vegetables, meats and seafood, desserts and the most delicious fruit drink I’ve ever tasted. We'd get three fork fulls in our mouths or two sips from our flutes and there they were, again! Amazing. The conversation came surprisingly easy and the mood lightened. Everyone relaxed and soon guests and hosts started sharing stories with the whole group. At the end of the meal, the prince surprised us all by asking me to share a poem with the group. Gulp!
But for the grace of God, I think I would have croaked on the spot. I can only imagine it was the Spirit of God who prompted me to write something down the night before. So I stood up, took the paper from my pocket and delivered one of the shortest poems I had ever written. It wasn’t much, I guess, but it got me through the moment. And I think it might have done something more. It relayed a certain amount of respect for our host and his party. The respect all men and all nations seek. The respect that comes from a certain degree of transparency and trust. So, for better or worse, here is what I read:
Faces
It’s in our friends' faces
We finally get to see
The respect we desire—
A daily sort of thing
For it’s in their eyes,
Their voices
We come to feel this way—
Respect, even admiration, and
A deeper sense of worth.
With that, we adjourned and piled back into our vehicles. After making the pleasant drive through Jiddah and settling back into our negotiations, we were able to work things out and actually begin preparing the official documents. The stale ice had been broken, and new understanding achieved.
Two weeks later, I flew out on an airplane the Saudis cleared for departure. Within 36 hours, I was home from my grand Arabian adventure, delighted to sit at my own table, gaze into loving eyes and offer my own smile—a smile of peace and restoration.
Lord, grant that we would learn to accept others as you have accepted us. For Your glory, for Your Kingdom. Amen.