February 24
Relationship and Accountability
I will make darkness light before them and crooked places straight.
Isaiah 42:16 (NKJV)
From my den, I heard unhappy voices upstairs. I moved past my white French doors to the bottom of the stairs and listened to the exchange between my son and my wife.
“Argh! I just want to finish!”
“Alex, you’ve been on the computer thirty minutes longer than allowed. Get off now!”
I stood still and listened for what came next: the tapping of keys, the rough scuff of the chair against the hallway carpet then, ten seconds later, the sound of my sons shoe slamming his bedroom wall.
That’s it! I thought as I bounded the stairs. I caught the anger as it rose from within. I said a quick prayer, determined to be calm, factual, and in control. I slipped in past his half-open door.
“Alex, I heard your shoe hit the wall.”
He sat on his bed, staring at the floor. “Sorry. It slipped.”
“Hmm. Well, I think you’re reacting to the rules. Rules that are for your own good. It’s not Mom’s fault. She’s only enforcing the rules I established. ... I think we’re going to delay your computer time tomorrow and let you think about these things. You need to appreciate the rules and learn to control your emotions.”
I left Alex in his bedroom and met my wife sitting in the den. The exchange with Alex had upset her and we needed to discuss our next steps. Twenty minutes later, 9-year old Alex walked in carrying a sheet of paper.
“Excuse me.... I’m too obsessive with the computer and I need to change." He looked at me with his big blue eyes. "I wrote down some new rules.” He handed me the 8 by 11 sheet, full of large penciled letters.
Here’s the original version:
New Rules
- No computer until September
- TV rules: max time 30 minutes on 30 minutes off – repeat 3 times max per day
- Ride scooter 15 minutes per day
- Go to bed at 8:00 p.m. until September comes
- Ride bike 1 hour per day until school starts
- Read a book after lunch 1 hour until September
- No snack time past 7:45 p.m.
"Thank you, Alex. You're sure you want to do this?" He nodded his head and walked out leaving his stunned parents sitting frozen, our jaws wide-open.
My son taught me a lesson that afternoon. I had held him accountable and it paid off more than I could have ever imagined. I remembered something else—the importance of relationship. You see, he and I had gone to the park that day. Alex and his dad played for an hour—chasing each other, jumping off swings in mid-flight. Kid stuff. Fun stuff. And in the end we had more than just fun—we reaped the reward of right relationship! And we love each other all the more….
Father, help me to have good relationships, the best relationships, and help me to be accountable too. Amen.
Relationship and Accountability
I will make darkness light before them and crooked places straight.
Isaiah 42:16 (NKJV)
From my den, I heard unhappy voices upstairs. I moved past my white French doors to the bottom of the stairs and listened to the exchange between my son and my wife.
“Argh! I just want to finish!”
“Alex, you’ve been on the computer thirty minutes longer than allowed. Get off now!”
I stood still and listened for what came next: the tapping of keys, the rough scuff of the chair against the hallway carpet then, ten seconds later, the sound of my sons shoe slamming his bedroom wall.
That’s it! I thought as I bounded the stairs. I caught the anger as it rose from within. I said a quick prayer, determined to be calm, factual, and in control. I slipped in past his half-open door.
“Alex, I heard your shoe hit the wall.”
He sat on his bed, staring at the floor. “Sorry. It slipped.”
“Hmm. Well, I think you’re reacting to the rules. Rules that are for your own good. It’s not Mom’s fault. She’s only enforcing the rules I established. ... I think we’re going to delay your computer time tomorrow and let you think about these things. You need to appreciate the rules and learn to control your emotions.”
I left Alex in his bedroom and met my wife sitting in the den. The exchange with Alex had upset her and we needed to discuss our next steps. Twenty minutes later, 9-year old Alex walked in carrying a sheet of paper.
“Excuse me.... I’m too obsessive with the computer and I need to change." He looked at me with his big blue eyes. "I wrote down some new rules.” He handed me the 8 by 11 sheet, full of large penciled letters.
Here’s the original version:
New Rules
- No computer until September
- TV rules: max time 30 minutes on 30 minutes off – repeat 3 times max per day
- Ride scooter 15 minutes per day
- Go to bed at 8:00 p.m. until September comes
- Ride bike 1 hour per day until school starts
- Read a book after lunch 1 hour until September
- No snack time past 7:45 p.m.
"Thank you, Alex. You're sure you want to do this?" He nodded his head and walked out leaving his stunned parents sitting frozen, our jaws wide-open.
My son taught me a lesson that afternoon. I had held him accountable and it paid off more than I could have ever imagined. I remembered something else—the importance of relationship. You see, he and I had gone to the park that day. Alex and his dad played for an hour—chasing each other, jumping off swings in mid-flight. Kid stuff. Fun stuff. And in the end we had more than just fun—we reaped the reward of right relationship! And we love each other all the more….
Father, help me to have good relationships, the best relationships, and help me to be accountable too. Amen.
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