December 16

Leaving, Longing and a New Understanding

Therefore a man shall leave his father….

Genesis 2:24 (NKJV)

Why is it we don’t appreciate the people around us until they are gone?

I see my father, maybe, once a month. When I’m with him, he never tires of asking questions or giving advise, but mainly, I think he likes being with me.

This past weekend was like that and after a filling lunch and a long conversation on topics as diverse as real estate investments, college educations and eating the right foods, I grew weary and excused myself to the comfort of the living room futon. My aging father followed—tottering over to the green recliner next to the futon—and took a nap as I rested. It wasn't long before his hushed snores drifted my way.

The sun beamed through the windows adding peace and warmth to the moment. I closed my eyes and considered this heritage of father-son relationships. As a boy, I missed out on time with Dad. For whatever reason, he was always busy with something else—if he was even home. When I finally left home, I left Dad too. My boyhood desire had vanished. And now, I realize this subtle transition playing out in my own children.

Alex is 9-years old and loves to play with his dad—anytime and anyway. Ryan, our 16-year old, wants a mix of fun interactions and private retreats—sometimes with but more and more away from Mom and Dad. And Drew, our college freshman, is fully satisfied to be gone. He is enjoying his independence to the max and we are not missed.

I drove Drew to school that weekend I visited my own father, and the four-hour drive—filled with quiet talk, shared music and fond remembrances—was truly sweet. Gosh, it was good! I remembered this as I lay there in the quiet moment—slowly waking up.

I opened my eyes, rolled over and gazed at my 90-year old dad fast asleep, beside me in the green recliner. I had a new appreciation. A new respect. A new understanding.

Father, help us to love one another … while there is still time. Amen.