Wednesday, September 20, 2006

September 19

Teetering On Nothingness


If … I don’t love, I am nothing. If … I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.


1 Corinthians 13:2-3 (The Message)


When I walked through the French doors to my study, the early morning light decided to join me, peeking through the broad white Venetian blinds. I looked out at the neatness of the front porch, the bright house colors and newly stained deck. Nice. I felt warm and snug, but then my mind dragged me back inside: military pictures and plaques added an air of masculine domain. The computer, fax machine, desk lamp and knick-knacks garnered my attention but a moment … then I looked at “my mess.” Papers and books, journals and letters, maps and files laid scattered about. They cluttered the two desks, filled the table, covered the corner wooden chair and spilled onto the floor. They congregated in sleepy piles—undisturbed for weeks and months. I began to count my sloppy stacks, but grew depressed and stopped at a dozen.

It’s a daily frustration … but not for me. You see, my wife hates clutter … and tells me so every week. Some people are just slow, I guess, and I’m just now realizing what I’m communicating. I’m seeing the light … maybe for the first time.

It clicked when a friend mentioned how neat my desk looked at work. “How nice it looks here—you know, I’ve seen your desk at home.”

I look around. Why is that I wonder. At work, I keep a perfectly clean office and I realize it's because I don't want to annoy the staff or leave a bad example. Think, Craig. You’ve known these people, what, three years maybe? Do you love them more than the woman who birthed your three boys? The gal who has devoted herself to you for nearly 25 years? The one who has committed to you totally … does she not deserve more attention ... more love than this?

I’m afraid I’ve had wrong priorities, and I am convicted. My life teeters on nothingness … if I don’t change … if I don’t love.

My mind's made up. I need to ask for forgiveness … and a wastebasket.


Lord, they say, love is action. Help me to act, to show real love! Amen.